by A. Priori
Summer is here, and while I’ve been on emeritus status at Excited State University for many years, my seasonal rhythms are still those of academia. This means that I’m loafing now, even when it comes to making wisecracks.
I’m willing, however, to guide others in the production of japery, and fortunately the real world has provided us with some excellent raw material. What follows is a direct quote from a licensee event report posted on the Nuclear Regulatory Commission’s Web site on June 12. The reporting organization was the NRC itself, through its Region I Office:
“On May 8, 2012, Region I identified that a survey instrument check source containing approximately 2.64 micro-curies of strontium-90 was missing. The source is believed to have been inside of a metal cabinet that was inadvertently discarded on May 2, 2012, during the removal of excess property in preparation for relocation of the regional office. The source is not considered to be a hazard to public health and safety due to its low activity level and beta emission decay path.
Upon discovery, the Region implemented several immediate actions including: attempts to locate and retrieve the source; confirmation that the remaining instrument check source was properly secured; and, a courtesy notification regarding this issue to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. In addition, a review of this event, consistent with the NRC’s Management Directives, was initiated to identify and implement appropriate follow-up actions to prevent recurrence.
This report is being submitted in accordance with NRC MD 10.131 Part V for missing material in a quantity greater than 10 times the quantity specified in 10 CFR 20 Appendix C.”
NRC’s Region I is moving from an office in King of Prussia, Pa., to another office in King of Prussia, Pa. The name of the town alone is always good for a chuckle. In your joke development process, feel free to take a wider perspective: NRC’s Headquarters is also getting ready for a move, as the third White Flint North building is finished and the parts of the agency that have been overflowed elsewhere join up again with the HQ folks in the first two buildings.
Sadly, it’s too late to use this in the Nuclear Energy Institute’s joke-writing contest, which expired June 15. You’re welcome to post your jokes here as comments, but all you’ll win is the admiration of your peers.
A. Priori is the heatstroke-induced hallucination of E. Michael Blake, Senior Editor of Nuclear News, the monthly magazine of ANS. Blake would like to point out that he has no opportunities to loaf, in any season, but he’s just a whiner.